Life isn't Easy

And can be even tougher for others

Hero’s like Phil, my deceased brother-in-law, fought to allow morons who destroy and hate this country for their freedoms to do so. Those idiots who scream racism and Nazi are devoid of any brain cells. The stupidity of such remarks is beyond rational thinking. Instead of destroying, why not try and fix things. Join the Army.

Let’s relish in the moment as our military celebrates 250 years.

Many years ago, I attended an athletic club symposium in Dallas, Texas. I was on the 20^th floor of some hotel overlooking a strange concrete jungle. I was surrounded by millions of people and yet I felt totally alone.

I’m guessing those friends I’ve known who committed suicide, also felt very alone. From the outside, these men had great businesses, families and from all appearances seemed happy. In many instances we’ll never know why they took their own lives.

I touched on this last year; June is PTSD awareness month and Men’s Mental Health awareness month. Males make up 50% of the population yet account for 80% of suicides. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/data.html.

Watching the men on the beach who survived Normandy talk about their experiences made me try to imagine what those survivors dealt with after such an ordeal. None of us can ever feel what went through their heads and how they coped the rest of their lives.

The United States has sent thousands of its youth into battle to protect the rest of us. Sadly, many who have returned alive have been damaged mentally. A very troubling statement is soldiers will die at a rate nine times higher from suicide than in combat. It’s a challenge trying to find a suicide count for 2024 but in 2023 the number was 523. I’m going to guess it was likely higher. One is too high. https://www.defense.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/3965617/dod-officials-underscore-long-term-commitment-to-suicide-prevention/. https://www.bu.edu/articles/2024/suicide-now-the-primary-cause-of-death-among-active-duty-us-soldiers/

In 2024 US suicides were well over 49,000. I had to read and reread that figure. That’s approaching the number of soldiers killed in Vietnam. This year, 2025, a health survey was done that found an alarming increase in anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse and depression. Evidently, the month of June was chosen to recognize this problem because suicides peak in late spring and then fall off in winter. I of course have no idea what the direct causes are but some of the obvious listed are; substance abuse, financial hardship, trauma and loneliness.

How do you fix it? Well first, it’s nice there’s a month dedicated to PTSD Awareness and Men’s Mental Health, but I venture to guess, very, very few people even know that. And then what? Terms like “broader societal change” and “healthcare reform” are used but mean nothing.

From the limited experience I have, no one really knows the internal struggles someone is going through. It’s only after they kill themselves all the questions are raised as to why.

We have all suffered some form of depression. It can be as simple at being bummed out you didn’t get that job you really wanted. Or you just feel crummy and become unmotivated and allow yourself to keep feeling crummy. Or worse, like losing a good friend or loved one can have an obvious major impact. I’ve been there like many of you and we know depression breeds depression. It’s easier to stay down than fight to feel happy. Human nature seems to want to wallow in feeling-sorry-for-ourselves.

I recall as a 17-year-old working a construction site, staring down a steep slope, and fighting with my inner self to not jump. I had wanted to die and for no apparent reason. The pull was powerful, and it happened on more than one occasion. I think the woman I ended up marrying for 52 years likely helped bury those thoughts out of my head. Sadly, there are way too many kids who were unable to stop themselves. Stats indicate 10% of high school kids said they attempted to kill themselves and females were higher at 13%.

How do we as a society; as friends and family, make a difference? If the person suffering is good at hiding what’s going in their minds, it’s tough. Made more difficult by confronting someone straight up and asking them are you thinking of killing yourself? How do we do that? We could be way off base in our speculation or be spot on but unless that person opens up and admits their thoughts, there’s nothing we can do. We can tell them we’re here for you. Call me anytime. Let me know if you need anything. If you’re wrong, you can piss off a family member or friend making such an assumption. And if you turn out to be right, it may be a tough thing to live with always questioning whether you should have tried harder.

My personal approach would be if my spider senses are warning me of something, I first become a quiet observer. Then over time cozy up and have benign conversations where I don’t push the other person but bring up how I’m dealing with some things myself and could use a little help and input. The hope would be to get the other person to feel comfortable and maybe eventually open up, if something is there.

I love life. I feel blessed everyday I’ve had a chance to experience it. Have I had bad negative thoughts? Of course. Sometimes checking out sounds like the easy way to alleviate what ails you. When I come even close to being grouchy, I think about a friend who at the age of 22 lost both his legs in Vietnam and then spent the next 56 years in a wheelchair. I make myself focus on the TV commercials showing our young men and women who were severely wounded in war fighting for us and I tell myself I have no room to complain. I think of my brother-in-law who had to fight his own demons of Vietnam.

I think about the friends who committed suicide and try to put myself in their shoes wondering how awry their minds went.

Being there for someone can do more good than using platitudes like health care changes. When it gets down to the nitty gritty, it’s all of us who can make the difference.

Let’s keep in our thoughts all those men and women who are dealing with their PTSD and mental health. And not just in June.