From the Ashes of Tragedy
Comes the Power of Love
We’ve all used or heard the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason.”
It’s easy to say and pretty much covers all the bases. Kind of goes back to my column on prayer. We can rationalize anything. Only maybe some things do happen for a reason. We don’t know.
I’ve written about it before how much I enjoy America’s Got Talent. My reason is simple, people from around the world and all walks of life, regardless of skin color or nationality, are given two minutes for the chance to change their lives in some way. And many do.
In one episode Simon Cowell awarded the Birmingham Youth Fellowship Choir with the golden buzzer. The choir leader said Birmingham has been low on the list when it comes to cities. It made national news when the Presbyterian church was bombed in 1963.
The bombing, committed by four members of the KKK, became the impetus for the passage of the Civil Rights Act in 1964, a major turning point for racial equality in the United States. Four young girls lost their lives, and 22 others injured. The Choir wanted to “Show that Burmingham Alabama has talent and do something good for the community.” And they sure did that.
Rather than allow mass shootings, destructive fires, tornados or floods to bring people to their knees; humans rise to their feet, stand tall, arm in arm and unite to get through the mourning and come out the other side stronger. Man, woman, black, white, Asian, gay, straight, young, old, it doesn’t matter. We all move in unison as a human race to help one another.
In 2009, Jackie and her husband Warren, were devastated by the loss of all their three children in a car accident. They asked themselves how do you accept such a loss? How can anyone accept such a tragedy? Is there anything that can be done to manage so much grief?
From the vestiges of that tragedy rose the Hance Family Foundation. Jackie and Warren used their grief and loss by focusing their efforts on self-esteem programs and carrying on the legacy of how their daughters lived, with enthusiastic confidence.
Hundreds if not thousands of similar support groups and foundations have formed after adversities. Humankind forms a circle to protect the injured like elephants do to protect their babies.
Many rely on church, religion, prayer, God to get through life. But we also rely on our fellow man to support us, our neighbor, our family. All differences are tossed aside and strangers from all over the country and the world step up to help wherever the need is without reservations.
This has been never more evident than in America’s most recent tragedy from the floods in Texas. Thousands of volunteers from all corners of this great country stepped up and gave of their time and money to do what they could to help.
It happens over and over. Floods in South Carolina, tornados in the Midwest. Hurricanes in Florida. Fires in California. When disaster strikes, you can count on your fellow man.
Humans are inherently good. Kind. Caring. Willing to give of themselves.
When you peel away the onion of negative news and hatred that floods our tv’s and media, it can all be swept away with love.
It’s never easy to look past the tears and pain of those who left us too soon. And yet, the grieving is turned into a fuel of sorts. We use the suffering not to feel defeated but to be empowered to do even better.
Dozens of young lives were lost in Texas. Not many of us can say we can truly feel the grief of those left behind. We really can’t but I had a little experience where I could feel some of it. A few years one of my best long-time friends met with an unexpected tragedy. His four-year-old daughter, India, contracted sepsis and within 48 hours she was gone. My wife and I went the funeral. One of the most difficult things we’ve ever had to attend. My friend, India’s father, a powerful 6’3” man, draped over the tiny coffin and wept.
There were no words. And there still aren’t.
After a period of grieving Jeff and his wife formed the India Phillips Foundation. They have given over 400 wheelchairs to children and adults in Mexico. India loved fairies and the Foundation donated 7,000 Friendship Fairy books to children and schools to teach the importance of being a friend and kind to others. Over 200 backpacks and school supplies to the Cortez homeless shelter and raised over $50,000 to children’s charities.
Jeff and Kim will never get over their loss, just like all those left behind in Texas, or my own aunt who lost her five-year-old son tragically hit by a car, or the endless heartbreaks that face us every day.
As difficult as the loss of property and life can be, good can come from it. Here is a list put together by the Harvard Business Review of what we humans learn.
Recognition of personal strength
Exploration of new possibilities
Improved relationships
Greater appreciation for life
Spiritual growth
Change in perspective, leading to a stronger connection to what truly matters
Change in perception of oneself, realizing one's own strength
Improved relationships and feeling more gratitude towards loved ones
Engaging in new activities, lifestyles, and/or relationships that make life more meaningful, rich, and satisfying
We’ve seen this proof in the aftermath of disasters and shootings where the slogans Boston Strong, Las Vegas Strong and now Hill Country Strong, build a formidable bond in all those communities.
In a twisted way, tragedy brings us all closer together and makes us even better human beings for it.