Defining Insanity
When insane has become normal
Breaking news: New York uncovered the cause of their recent massive earthquake; Donald Trump. New York DA Alvin Bragg and AG Letitia James are filing charges and fining Trump one billion dollars to rehang the fallen pictures and plates and for the stress he caused among city dwellers. They both feel there’s no need for a trial because they’ve already made up their minds. But they want to send Trump a message that he can’t do this to their city, so they’ve set a trial day for November 4th to make their point. They both claim it’s not racially motivated.
It's been further uncovered since the epicenter was in a town called Lebanon and therefore the Israelis, because Lebanon doesn’t like them, also hold some culpability. They should have dropped leaflets and allowed the city to vacate prior to the earthquake scaring people. This oversight goes against the Geneva Convention and Israel could be tried for war crimes. Or the very least, not paying attention.
Israel admits mistakes were made, during a time of war, over the recent accidental killing of the aid workers. Though terribly sad and as horrible as it was, Hamas decided to retaliate by continuing to ravage the female hostages and cut meals down to one pita bread a day. And to show they mean business, no humus.
President Biden has expressed his anger over the entire affair and is trying to scare Netanyahu. Biden sited his expansive knowledge of war pointing out the perfect departure from Afghanistan. He did admit he made a little booboo leaving behind all those who had helped America against the war in that country. Reports also say old Joe did forget to mention the American citizens who had been abandoned. Many of whom are likely dead by now, but sadly he didn’t have room on the planes already filled with unvetted Afghanis. Biden told Israel’s Prime Minister that sometimes you have to make tough decisions during a time of war. He pointed out only 13 service men died during the withdrawal. The number could have been much higher. And as a thank you to the Taliban for all their help, Joe left $7B worth of military equipment. That’s just the kind of guy I am he told Netanyahu, as he peered at the phone from behind his aviator glasses.
Joe’s been instructed by his string masters and staff to show the country he can dance on both sides of the fence. The Hamas, antisemite terrorist supporters, all the rage in America right now, should be pleased with his tough new tough stance against Israel. These Israeli antagonists should be happy knowing Israel could be receiving fewer weapons. Weapons needed to sanitize Palestine of freedom fighters. That should be enough to change their minds and toss their votes for Biden in the fall.
Meanwhile, with so much else going on, Ukraine has gone kinda quiet. Though no one is really sure if money isn’t being flown over, in various currencies, in the middle of the night. Like Biden’s midnight flights of new “visitors” into the heart of America to placate Mexico. Biden is ever the humanitarian.
Speaking of humanitarian. While president Joe is so busy keeping the world at peace and fixing racist bridges, his good friend ex-pres, Hussein Obama, continues to instruct Joe’s administration how to keep bringing in more “newcomers” required to keep his toilets clean, mow his expansive lawn and inflate the job numbers with illegal hires. Always wanting to help the little people. Their kindness and generosity know no bounds.
Joe’s team instructed him he must ramp up his reelection campaign to win the presidency if he wants to win again. Joe replied, “I was president?”
Joe then asked, “Who else is running against me?” He was reminded it was the devil himself. An evil demon with orange hair. That if Joe didn’t win, democracy as we know it would end. Joe needed bring his A game and stay awake during speeches and to make sure he looks threatening. One of the ways to accomplish that was to get angry. Nothing like a little yelling to put people in their place.
Then Joe was given some disturbing news. He was losing. His popularity keeps plummeting. No one really likes him anymore. Even big celebrities like the Rock have become disillusioned with his performance. Joe shook his head in dismay. “That can’t be. Not the Rock! I love that movie jungle something. He was in that right? What can I do to make people like me to win being president again? I really like flying around in the big airplane. But those stairs can be a bitch.”
Kamala stared at her boss and said, “We can win by cheating. Cheating and abortion. Lots of abortion. And AI. That’s two letters you know.”
Chief of staff Jeff Zients reminded his commander in chief of the good job he’s been doing coddling millions of new terrorists he let into America. Keeping population growth down using Fentanyl to take out the kids. Making sure we have no domestic fuel keeping gas prices high so people don’t drive. What an excellent job he’s doing trying to force Americans to buy electric cars to keep the air clean. How he’s excelled driving the cost of food up some 20% so people eat less which helps with the obesity problem and produces less flatulence. AOC is extremely pleased with that outcome. And how he’s managed to keep inflation on the rise and interest rates high to save people from the need to buy a home. And that his greatest achievement is showing the world we’re not a stuck-up country. We can temper our egos and accept that we’re a weaker nation. We don’t always have to be number one. Not even number three.
Joe Biden widens his eyes and says, “Wow! I did all that? I must have been a great president.”
Jeff Zients turns his head and rolls his eyes. He rapidly writes down some notes: President Biden is working on a new program to reduce the cost of fuel. He understands food prices are up but with the new influx of illegal immigrants and working for lower wages or for free, those prices will be coming down very soon. Everyone can have an abortion anytime, anywhere. And we’re going to print a few trillion more dollars to help fight climate change because that’s still the number one existential threat. He hands the scribbling to his aid, “Please give this to press Secretary Karine for her next media “snow job” press meeting. And tell her to stop calling on that stupid son of bitch Peter Ducey.
Turning back to the president Zients says, “Go ahead and take your nap sir.”